Smooth Sailing

I've found a brilliant way to stay dry in the dragon's stomach while moving around. While I was wandering around, doing my daily scavenge for undigested vegetables (I'm a vegetarian and am not quite hungry enough to start eating meat. Did you know that, while beholders make excellent and cost-effective shepherds, they brutally eviscerate nearly half of all our meat products for their own sick pleasure? It's really too cruel and I just can't support an industry that encourages creatures with eyestalks that can inflict serious wounds to play with my food). Where was I? Oh yes, when I was scavenging for some cruelty-free veggies I found a few barrels of beer.

I know, I know, I probably should have saved all the beer and dealt with being slowly digested through a long, lonely binge, but I was sort of desperate to stop the burning that was beginning on my legs. So I filled my fair-trade, synthetic waterskin with the stuff and broke the barrels open. I've fashioned a sort of canoe from the planks and am now quite dry (if not somewhat tipsy). I'm concerned that the stomach acid will eventually wear down the wood of the boat, but for now I'm wonderfully dry, even slightly comfortable.

While I was drifting in a large lake of acid, I made another great find. I found an assassin vine creeping about and tied it to the back of my boat. Now I have quick and easy access to its hearty but bitter fruit at any time! I just need to make sure it doesn't try to entangle me in my sleep...

I also found a helmet drifting in the digestive fluids. It looked like it had some kind of stew in it recently, there were little bits of meat sort of burnt to the bottom. There wasn't much, but I fed it to the assassin vine in hopes that we can reach some sort of understanding, maybe even form a symbiotic relationship, if you know what I mean. I tried to explain to it how I'm really on its side as an environmentalist and all and it shouldn't really be angry that I'm eating its berries and dragging it through the stomach of a dragon. I think it understood... But just in case, I think I'll try to keep it satiated.

-Girl.IAD