Oh no, not again.
Whilst being eaten by a dragon is woefully unpleasant, being eaten by a dragon when you’re about to unleash the sexiest pick-up line known to Druid-kind* is just abysmal.
Clank, clonk, bonk, crack, screeeeeech! As I fell down the foul beast’s esophagus I reached out with my hands, my feet, my nails, ANYTHING to help slow my fall (all the while calling down to the Guy, “Hey, I can show you a really wild rhi—wait that’s not how it goes, DAMNIT I PRACTICED). I was surprised to find that instead of hitting flesh, my digits came against cold, hard, metal. Oh FUCK.
We hadn’t been eaten by a dragon (inside a dragon)—we’d been consumed by a MECHANICAL dragon (inside a dragon).
The dragon must have swallowed some gnome tinkerers and their (abominable) creation. You’re familiar with gnome tinkerers of course. They’re the guys that stretch out your boots while trying to sell you graphics cards they swear will make the things look better. If only the Guy and I could find their control room… Perhaps this wasn’t so bad—I began to think—Perhaps this is our ticket out!
*The line, of course, is “How much do I weigh in polar bear form? Just enough to break the ice!”**
**A variation of this for gamer druids is “How much do I slay in polar bear form? Just enough to crush your dice!” It sounds as threatening as it actually is.
***In love (and in a dragon [inside a dragon])