2/17/11

The Girl is Puzzled

When we last left our intrepid heroine, she had embarked on a quest to find the mysterious Guy. Since then she's fought through acidic heat and bitter cold, past sleepless nights punctuated by the screams of the dragon's latest victims, and through another painful cycle of menstruation. Now running frightfully low on both mana and Kotex, she sits before a large and complicated puzzle that involves moving blocks around. She hates this sort of thing, you guys. 

I have a confession to make. I never played through all of The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. Now, I know that's not the best 'Greatest Regret' to carry with you to your untimely dragon-induced death, but still, now I'm beginning to regret it. Maybe if I had carried on past the Water Temple I'd know what to do with these damn blocks. Unfortunately, Viney was being about as helpful as Navi and kept telling me something about smoke. (Hey wait, is one of those a companion cube?)

After searching the acid swamp for several hours, I came to the conclusion that the Guy must have been sucked down to the lower levels of the dragon. Unfortunately for me, I can't get there without draining the beast's stomach acid. I searched around for a map for a while (I only found the compass) and happened upon this chamber. It's obvious that I need to solve the puzzle to move on, but the answer is just eluding me.

I seriously need to get out of this place. I think I may go crazy if I don't see another mammal soon--Viney just doesn't cut it. I must have tried every last combination though. Maybe if I move the companion cube over that big heart symbol... Nope. GAH! WHY ARE THERE EVEN BLOCKS INSIDE THIS STUPID DRAGON?!?!

You know what, skrew it! I saw a bunch of bombs growing out of the previous chamber, I'm using them to blow this puzzle to smithereens. (Sorry companion cube--you're cute and all, but you have to go.)

Hold on, Guy, I'm coming for you!

As the smoke clears, we see the brash Girl and a now slightly singed vine descend into the darkness, the puzzle broken into a million smoldering pieces, a faded pink heart becoming marred with soot. For those of you with psionic powers, you see that the Girl is hoping the Guy is nice, charming, and found the dungeon map already. 


-Girl.IAD